Vodka, Fucking and Television

by Maksym Kurochkin

3 males, 1 female. Single interior. One act.

Having entered a mid-life crisis, the central character of this play resolves to make drastic changes in his life. He summons his worst enemies – Vodka, Fucking and Television – and proceeds to subject them to something resembling a courtroom interrogation. Each is called upon to prove his or her independence and necessity. Since all are close, even intimate, friends of the main character, the interrogation most often resembles a heart-to-heart chat, a family argument or a visit to the psychologist. Ultimately, the main character unleashes a soliloquy that might be considered a manifesto for people who came of age during the 1990s in Russia. It begins with the words: “We were children during the Seventies. Now we’re dangling between two self-satisfied generations, like an absurd pair of camel nuts… Our sheets are not soiled with petroleum. But with the sperm of our wives’ former lovers… we never existed. But we will. Only we will! Because without faith, without land and petroleum – we – are free….”


Nick Bateman as Hero in Vodka, Fucking and Television. Towson University. October 2009. Photo: Jay Herzog


Andrea Crnkovic as Fucking and Nick Bateman. Photo: Jay Herzog