Luke was born at a young age and started his career as a young man. He grew up in Hell, California, where he was taught how to write and other stuff. When he got older, he moved to Hell, Michigan, and went to school until he graduated during his senior year of high school. He has no formal training or education in art, but shortly after he graduated, he encountered a hippo driving a car with a “Jack Nicholson for President 2012” wrap, which made him cry tears of sadness due to the terrible image taken of Jack Nicholson. This is when he realized the untapped potential he has in photography and image editing. Luke began creating art piece after art piece as if he were a man possessed, but unfortunately, none of his art was given the time of day because of its unusual look. Despite this lack of success, he kept creating, only stopping when food or nature called. This drive eventually led to his house becoming so full of work that it expanded and eventually blew up, causing him to be homeless and sad. Eventually, he was noticed by a wandering passerby who supposedly went by the name Larj “Big Money” Curensey, who was looking for a quick fix to their public image, so Larj adopted Luke. Due to this new wealthy lifestyle, Luke was able to promote his art aggressively and eventually got the attention of big museums, and he achieved all his dreams and lived happily ever after. When asked what inspires him or influences him, Luke commented that his art reflects his life, having to live around “well-adjusted individuals who are normal,” as Luke calls himself “an unhinged individual who is unable to take care myself to the point that I am constantly being monitored.”
Lucas was born July 9th, 392 AD. After many shenanigans in the European countryside, he was captured by Roman Centurions and taken before Emperor Romulus Augustulus. After being asked to prove his worth or be executed, Lucas danced a jig in front of the emperor. This sent Emperor Romulus insane and caused him to fall out of a window. This immediately led to massive instability and the collapse of social order in Rome, which then led to its immediate sacking by barbarians. After the city was reduced to ashes and its contents pillaged, Lucas was asked to leave. Then, after another few hundred years of doing god knows what, he was caught in England in 1347 under suspicion of doing something bad, idk. The populace then put Lucas on a pyre to be burned at the stake, but allowed him to speak his final words before perishing. He used this opportunity to cough up a black sludge, which led immediately to the beginning of the Black Plague, which caused the deaths of 25% of Europe’s population. After another few hundred years of aimless wandering, he ended up in the backyard of George Washington’s house, where he and other founding fathers were hanging out. Lucas then soured the mood by interjecting into the conversation, telling an unfunny anecdote, which caused the founding fathers to leave. Another few hundred years later, Lucas found himself in Philadelphia in 1992. There he found a downtrodden businessman named Mr. Supervisor, who just days before lost all his money to a market crash. Mr. Supervisor asked Lucas what makes life so worth living, to which Lucas replies with the dance he did that killed that emperor. This cheered up Mr. Supervisor, and together they made a company called Happy Comrades, a non-profit that helps people be happy. Lucas spent most of his days on a bean bag in the employee lounge on his iPad. He also drew abstract art on the side until his death.
An excerpt from his autobiography Colin: A Thompson Story
“Perchance, Colin was born as Glup Shitto on a dying planet. His parents sent him to Earth in an escape pod just before his planet blew up, like Superman DC. He was found by an old man who adopted him and named him Colin, like Goku Dragon Ball. Colin originally wanted to destroy the world, as it was secretly programmed into him by the doctor who created him because it turns out he is an attempt to create the perfect lifeform, like Shadow the Hedgehog Sonic the Hedgehog, or Mewtwo Pokemon. Thus, he is an amalgamation of many different species, like Shinigami and Hollows, like Ichigo Bleach. He also has a fox demon sealed inside him, like Naruto Naruto Shippuden. And he can also stretch cuz he ate a weird fruit, like Luffy One Piece. Anyways, he gave up on that cuz he was lazy and ran away from home cuz his grandfather smelled like an old man. He met a band of mercenaries and fought with them, but then one day their leader betrayed them, and they all died, like Guts Berserk. He then went to high school and fought spirits as an after-school activity, like Itadori JJK. After graduating high school, he went to college and dropped out to create a tech start-up, like Bill Gates Microsoft. After making a kajillion dollars selling crappy PCs and Operating systems, he made a metal suit to fight crime, like Tony Stark Marvel. On the side, he also went treasure hunting, like Indiana Jones Indiana Jones. He then learned about an existential threat to humanity called the Anti-Spiral, who could beat anyone in fiction, so he found a giant robot and a warship and took a bunch of dudes to go fight it, like Simon the Digger Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. After that, he set up an intergalactic empire where he fought many battles against his rival from the democratic country he was fighting, like Reinhard von Lohengramm Legend of the Galactic Heroes. Anyway, he also drew on the side and sent Conor his drawings to put into the exhibit for the lulz.”
