The GAR (Goober Art Repository) was built in 1975 to promote and celebrate only the truest of artists. The founder, [REDACTED], had a growing sentiment that most artists had “soft hands” after numerous encounters with a grizzly bear painting a turkey. This led to him creating The GAR in hopes of helping real artists stand out amongst the fakers in the world. Ever since its creation, The GAR has been a place where only the world's premier and hardest-working artists are showcased. Any artist that is showcased at The GAR has been heavily scrutinized and interviewed by our panel of curators, including [REDACTED] himself, with some questions including “Where would you hide a bag of oranges if the archangels were contracting scurvy?” and “What is your name?” The GAR prides itself on helping lesser-known artists get a spotlight instead of presenting artists who do not truly live their art. Some notable examples are a Japanese artist named Ken Oyanagi, whose art is based around the ancient technique of Rock Paper Scissors. Through numerous years of training, he has been able to create beautiful work that sends viewers flying through the air. Among The GAR’s alumni, viewers may notice that not a single artist has a name that starts with the letter “S.” This is because of the ancient historical proverb by [REDACTED], which states, “S is for stinky, and that is all.” One of the most recent additions was in 2025: to celebrate 40 years of The GAR, the mountains behind the museum were terraformed to depict our founder's face. That is all you need to know. Ok, bye-bye.
